it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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