Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
