So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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