I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
