HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
