Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My room smells like vodka and shame
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
