I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
