it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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