What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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