So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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