she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
