He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
