I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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