dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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