What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
