Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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