I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
