Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
