Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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