How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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