if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
