so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mom said you looked used
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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