i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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