yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
