help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
