i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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