Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
