it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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