My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
