so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
