Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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