I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
50% drunk capacity currently
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
