Whod you bang
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
