and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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