You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
