I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Michael Bay diarrhea
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
