Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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