you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
