you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
