it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
