break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
