toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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