While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
