I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
