Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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