I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
