She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
