he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize