Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
