I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
