i would punch a child for taco bell
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My feet surprised me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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