Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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